chosen
by pennydumb
Summary: He remembered what they had talked about on the night they arrived from the battle. The promise he made under the moon light. 'I will never waste my second chance. Thank you, Eren, for choosing me.' (spoilers from chapter 83)


**chosen**

* * *

"Say, ever since Hanji became the new commander of the Survey Corps, have you guys notice anything?" Connie asked his friends, as they circled the rectangular table in the mess hall.

"What are you talking about, Connie?" Jean raised a brow from beside the semi-bald guy.

"Connie, stop talking and just eat your food!" Sasha scolded, "Or you want me to eat it for you?"

The semi-bald guy slapped Sasha's hand off of his food, "Hey! Hands off of my precious!"

Then the two proceeded on their usual bickering on almost about everything. While the previously-brought-up topic seemed to leave their table, a certain blonde from the other end of the table suddenly spoke of something.

"I noticed it too."

Mikasa paused from eating and glanced at Armin, "Eat your food first, Armin."

Connie released Sasha's face and turned to the blonde, "What did you notice, Armin?"

"Well," Armin began in an unsure tone, "I was in her office earlier this morning to give the report about the current status of Wall Rose."

"What happened?" pushed Connie.

"The commander's been so silent lately. And she barely leaves her office. And everytime I would come to recieve orders, I don't know if this also goes with everybody else but, she seemed angry towards me."

His friends promptly stopped whatever they were doing and averted their gaze at him. The table fell into silence for a couple of minutes. Armin looked at their faces and saw that he got them thinking over what he just said. Even Sasha dropped her spoon for a moment and stared at her own food. Well, everyone in their table seemed to find their own food suddenly interesting.

"Yeah," Connie almost murmured, breaking the silence, "Commander Hanji has been really quiet lately. I barely even see her in the hallways and making fun of everyone anymore."  
Sasha slowly nodded to his statement, "She and the captain barely talk and tease each other anymore."

"And have you seen how she acted around yesterday? She got a bit angry when me and suddenly Armin started cleaning her office," added Connie, "I mean, we were told by Captain Levi to clean it for her. She came and just shoved us away, without saying anything."

"Maybe she's just tired?"

"I don't know, Sash. Everybody gets tired. Besides, the Hanji we know doesn't get mad at simple things like that. I mean-"

"Connie, stop it." As if there's a magical incantation to it, the said bald guy stopped mid-sentence after hearing Jean. The bleach-haired scout finished his food and set down his spoon before looking up, "It's not a good thing to talk about the new commander like that. What if someone hear you?"

Connie looked down guiltily. He's right, he shouldn't talk carelessly like that.

But then Sasha spoke again, "Well, if you guys really think about it, Commander Hanji gets only mad whenever Armin is around."

A tight knot appeared inside Armin's throat. He's suddenly unable to swallow. He expected them to bring their gazes back at him, but no one dared to do so. It seemed like everybody has thought about it as well before.

Armin's insides got filled with sudden guilt. The mood at their table switched into something both unsettling and familiar. His grip on his spoon tightened as he tried not to choke on his own tongue. He tried to speak, but his jaws were stuck.

"Stop it, all of you," Eren finally said from beside Armin. There was something in his tone that made the blonde glanced back at him. The brunet's looking calmer than ever. His eyeballs moved and met Armin's, as if telling him to let go of the topic and don't say any more words to contribute into the conversation. He continued his spoonful in-take of his food,

"You guys sound like it's Armin's fault."

"You're right, Eren."

They all shot their heads up at the blonde, murmuring unknown words as if to question Armin's sudden testimony.  
The blonde avoided any of their gazes and settled his own on his plate, "Since we came back, I've always wondered," he continued, "Why do you guys have to choose me."

"Armin."

It was Mikasa, who wasn't happy at where this conversation was going.  
The blonde boy pretended like he heard nothing, "I thought I did what was necessary. For the greater good. I sacrificed myself for the future of everyone who will go home alive. I knew then that I won't be going back home with you guys."

"Armin."

"And then I was brought back to life. You told me what happened. Up until now, it still puzzles me-"

"Armin, sto-"

"Commander Erwin is always the best choice. There are still lots of people that need him. Captain Levi needs him. Commander Hanji needs him. The whole legion needs him-"

"It's not-"

"He is a lot wiser and more intelligent than me. He's stronger than me. He deserves this second chance in life more than me. If only you chose him over me, then we wouldn't have-"

"Armin!"

Eren slammed his hands against the wooden table as he abruptly stood up, causing their plates and glasses full of water to jerk up from their places. It attracted the attention of the rest of the people in the mess hall. Everyone's eyes were now glued on Eren's darkened expression as his bangs covered his eyes with shadow.

Armin was brought back from his mini trance into reality. He watched Eren and immediately regretted everything that he said. He remembered what they had talked about on the night they arrived from the battle. The promise he made under the moon light. I will never waste my second chance. Thank you, Eren, for choosing me.

Eren silently sat back down and took his spoon like nothing happened. Armin brought a hand up and quickly wiped some of his tears that threatened to fall. He felt like the roof of the headquarters would fall on him. A hand was placed on his one shoulder. He looked up and saw Jean, who gave him a small encouraging smile.

The bleach-haired scout didn't utter any word and just gave him a light pat. Armin let out a breath and forced a smile. He broke eye contact with Jean and met his other friends' eyes. They were all smiling at him.

Their smiles looked so fragile. Like there's always something that could take those away from them.

"Let's continue eating," Mikasa started.

"Yeah."

Armin made a mental note to make an apology to them after they're done with their food.

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_A/N : I own nothing but the mistakes._


End file.
